The ”fave of this mounth” is Kelly Clarkson´s new song ”People Like Us” from here new album ”A new chapter” I trhuly listened to this song Thure out this whole mounth. The message in this song is just so good, I know it can be to much and all the song today is about ”how you should be yourself” BLAH…BLAH…BLAH but I liked this song
You know the drill…
So now I´ve made up my mind!
Starting on Monday , I´ll begin to take a hold of my life, I want to be happy again. Smile a real smile and not just coz I have to be ”nice”. Not manny of you who don´t read the blog knows that I ‘ve honestly felt SHIT this last periods, but do you know what? I have to ”wake up” . Stop isolate myself from the outside world and be social again 🙂
I stopped hanging out with my friends which I now apoligize for. Most of you guys that know me, or likes to think you know me , usually have a picture of me as strong, independent girl. It may be true to some extent but it is not as everyone thinks it is.
The problem with my sadness is that there is not something specific that I feel bad about . It´s factors mixed together into feelins that make my life out of balance.
I just have to thank God that it hasn´t affected my studies. Those of you who have read the blog since its inception and perhaps hung on from the last blog , you know that I have had many times when I told him that I felt unwell and unable to blog , but I’ve never really talked about it as I do now. But from now on, this should be changed. Anything that makes me feel bad , I ignore. I’ll try to change the things I would have changed . I’m already working on my attitude and feel that things are going well so far. I have decided to start afresh . There is a chance that I will fail AGAIN , I must say, but I’ll do my best. This time I’ll be afraid of death and not crave it. I would also like to apologize to my friends if you are reading this . Sorry I have ignored you. I’m sorry I behaved so badly in some situations. I really hope you accept my apoligy. I will be back, happier than ever, with more energy than ever and ready to live the life that I have since learned to love fully . I know it certainly is many who are wondering why I’m writing this out on the blog. For me it is a step into the new ”me” . To recognize my mistakes and weaknesses are a big part of the process to actually try to change and improve the things that are wrong for me it’s also very important to be honest with everyone who is in any way a part of my life or takes part of my life. Usally I am the knid of person who doesn´t like to talk about feelings and ignores them, hide them does anything, but talk about them. For a long time, not that I have changed, or I still Think in a way that emotions are powerful things that I shouldn´t really pay attention to, some of the feelings are just to much and should be ignored.
It´s time for me to really Wake up and take care of all the things I´ve not cared about, such as deal with thoes of my friends I should keep and thoes of them that make me feel bad and pisses me of, I should ”break up” with thoes and move on with my Life, coz at the end of the day I have to live with the decissions I make.
♥ to ya all 😉
When you feel that Everything is getting better and the stuff you think was tought is slowly disappearing, BOM!!! you crash down and your back where you started…. This is how I feel now, I have a biology test tomorrow, I have a hand-in in English and I´m trying to study for the next up-comming Swidish test, not to mention that I´m trying to breath out and just relax. On the first hand I´m pisst of, coz I remember back in December/April when the gauding counsulor and everyone that was working around me said that ”this school of choise is gonna be the best alternative for you”, ”you will get the help you need” blah.blah….. But HEY!!!! do you know what I´m not intakct, I´m stressing out with all the work I have to do, and I don´t have any friends, which I´ve been trying so hard to get. I´m not saying that me going to a school in Malmö would be a diffrent situation, but I would not feel so lost as I´m feeling now. I mean the whole Point of me moving up here was to get the grades I needed, right? I´m missing my family, when I´m home on the weekends I´m doin´school work, I don´t do any activities after school and Everything is getting more and more deepressing 😦
But do you know what???? It´s 3 years left stay positive 🙂
1. My best friends
2. I miss the swim trainings and my swimming team
4. My mum´s food 😀
5. Doing my ”Daily Dairy” videos
So now it´s gone a mounth sínce the school started and I´m deeply sorry for the time that I was gone, but I had so much to do, Everything from moving to my dormroom, starting school and trying to sattle in. It´s honestly been the hardest mounth in my Life, just because all the new impressions, subjects and people that I had to deal with so I hope you understand. I´m slowly getting back on track and ”waking up” in a way. So now that I for the 1000 time cleared up why I was gonn it´s time to talk about the real stuff that is gonna happen this fall 🙂
The first thing as you see I changed my blog designe again to a more sattle Classic ”grey-isch” background. Just because I feelt it feelt a Little bit to much with all that was going on in the old background. I´m not a 100% satisfied, and as you see I´m not done with the header, which I´m working on.
Now It´s time to share what I´ve been trying to hold in…. 😛 For thoes of you who remember my ”published Magazine” ”Truly Chic” it´s comming back!!!!!
and this time I´m gonna have it here on the bloog, so that it´s esaier for you guys to find it and Everything 😀 The first issue is probably gonna be up in the middle of October, but stay thound and look out for it. I´ve been trying to reach out to some of my friends that works with layout, and designes and hopefully the designe for each issue is gonna be Chci 🙂
Have a nice sunday… and remember
Stay classy, never trashy and a little bit of sassy 😉